Cemetery seeks to memorialize infants' remains

By Priscilla A. Greear - Florida Catholic

• See related story: After miscarriage: 'We are here to accompany them' 

DORAL | The Blessed Mother reigns from atop her aerie above the burial site of men and women religious at the archdiocese’s Our Lady of Mercy Cemetery. There lie the remains of the Sisters of St. Joseph Benedict Cottolengo, including Sister Lucia Ceccotti, who ran the Marian Center School for children with developmental disabilities for over a half century. Just behind is the Garden of Angels section, where nearly 1,000 unknown babies are buried in the sacred grounds but without any gravestones.

As Respect Life Month unfolds and All Souls Day approaches, the archdiocesan cemeteries invite the faithful to participate in the Footprints in the Garden campaign by purchasing gravestones at Our Lady of Mercy Cemetery in Doral, to memorialize and honor children who perished as newborns or before birth, affirming the eternal worth of these holy innocents.

Each granite gravestone etched with a heart-shaped rosary costs $100 and is a small sign that these small souls were loved in the world. Those who donate can choose a name for the baby and pray for the soul in heaven, said Mary Jo Frick, executive director of Catholic Cemeteries.

"Whether the baby is actually named or it's Infant Smith or Infant Jones, at least we'll be able to put the memorials out there and people will know there was a baby in the space," she said. "Right now, it's word of mouth. With All Souls Day, the archbishop will be next door for the Mass at Guadalupe Parish so we're really hoping to be able to hand the cards out at the Mass."

Since Our Lady of Mercy opened in 1959, it has worked compassionately with families who lost their children. Since the 1960s, the St. Vincent de Paul Society and churches have arranged for infant burials in the baby section of the 122-acre Catholic cemetery, with funeral assistance provided by the Vincentians and graves donated by the cemetery.

"Memorialization was the one thing left for families to provide at any point when they had the means to do so. For many of them, this never happened. Perhaps the grief was too great or the loss so tragic that parents could not face the reality. This we will never know. What we do know is that in the past 60-plus years we have seen the total rise to over 850 child and infant graves that have no memorial," said Frick.

While full records aren't available, many families likely lacked the money for the burial.

But "those families knew the Catholic cemetery was the right place to bring their baby for final rest," said Frick. "It's a sacred enclosure taken care of by the Catholic Church and it was a thoughtful thing for SVDP or the parish or the family to recognize the fact that all of the babies who pass away should come to the cemetery."

Sadly, some of the babies died from abandonment. Our Lady Queen of Heaven Cemetery in Fort Lauderdale holds the remains of one infant, Baby Gabriel, who was abandoned by his troubled mother and tragically discovered in a trash bin in 2012. The cemetery donated a plot in the baby section and Father Dominick O'Dwyer, now retired, celebrated a funeral Mass.

Nick Silverio works to prevent such tragedies through the nonprofit A Safe Haven for Newborns, which partners with adoption agencies, hospitals and community organizations to find homes for abandoned babies. The group will host its 11th annual A Wonderland in Safe Haven Gala Oct. 28, 2023.

Frick conceived the Footprints in the Garden campaign soon after becoming executive director 14 years ago.

"I said why aren't there any memorials? So when I got there it's one of those things – being a mother of two myself to stand in the baby section and see there are babies here and they don't have a memorial. It tugged at my heartstrings all this time."

Then the Nicholas DeNovio family donated refund money to the cemetery in memory of Mona Ines Arrarte for use as deemed appropriate. The Footprints in the Garden project was born with the family gift funding the first 63 markers.

Michel Garcia, Our Lady of Mercy family service counselor, said that the project shows respect for every life.

"We believe the human life begins at the moment of conception and that's what we try to defend and promote: the dignity of the human person since the moment of conception," Garcia said. "We try to give some dignity to the remains that are there, which is what the purpose of a cemetery is, to honor those that preceded us.”

“In the eyes of God they are in heaven,” Garcia added. “We all believe in that, angels in heaven. But they have the same dignity as any baptized person.”

Another purpose of the Footprints project is to preserve Catholic burial tradition.

"According to canon law, every grave has to be marked and have a little symbol of Christianity,” Garcia said.

If they don't have a name, the marker will say infant boy or infant girl and the year the remains were buried. Many of them were miscarriages so there's no birth certificate. The cemetery is using the year they were buried as the year they were born.

Now, if one of those families returns to the cemetery, they will find a dignified grave for their child.

The Footprints in the Garden fund also will benefit people in the future who've lost children and need financial support. "It's a way for us to pray for those who have been departed before us, the communion of saints in the Church," said Garcia. "We're telling them we want to preserve the human dignity and come to us, and we'll help you if you don't have the funds."

Frick noted the poignancy of the Garden of Angels section's proximity to the Sisters of St. Joseph Benedict Cottolengo.

"It's cool that in order to get to the baby section you walk past all the religious sisters who have been buried there," said Frick. “It's significant to me to walk past Sister Lucia's grave to go to the baby section knowing she spent her whole life taking care of children."

For information or to make a donation visit https://www.catholiccemeteriesmiami.org/donate.