How musical theater and Catholic faith changed my life
Wednesday, March 5, 2025
Mariana Barbara
Growing up on the autism spectrum was a challenge. There were many obstacles I endured, for which I needed a lot of help navigating. It was difficult for me, but it was an even bigger challenge for my family. It was hard for my mother to go through life raising two children with an autism diagnosis. But she wouldn’t have chosen a different life. It was the grace of God – in whom she put all her trust – that truly helped me, my brother and our whole family tremendously. In addition, my love of singing and musical theater indirectly helped me grow and develop (and, of course, years of speech and language therapy, early intervention and social skills groups). Who would have thought that two very different subjects like musical theater and the Catholic faith would have such a massive impact on someone?
A cradle Catholic, I was raised in a Mexican-American family that really cherished our Catholic faith. But growing up on the autism spectrum presented unique obstacles that, at numerous times, were overwhelming, particularly in the public school setting and in public places. At Mass, staying focused during the homily and sitting still in the pews were a challenge.
My mom noticed how much I loved reciting songs and scripting lines from movies while watching TV. When an opportunity to join the choir opened, my mom encouraged me to attend the rehearsals and sing during Mass. During the first rehearsal, I felt something inside me that I had never experienced before. Later, when it came time to sing at Mass, I really enjoyed the experience of singing with others for our faith in Christ. But for some reason, I couldn’t explain that feeling. Back then, I didn’t understand the meaning of singing those hymns during Mass. It wasn’t until later in high school that I could finally understand and fully process that feeling inside of me.
My experience in high school was a bit tough in the beginning. I was very antisocial and spent most of my time during lunch on my phone. That all changed in a way when I joined the drama and choir programs.
I felt an urge to express myself to my peers – to show that I was capable. During my time in the theater program, I felt this feeling expanding inside me, similar to the one I felt when I sang in the choir at Mass. I was blessed to have a teacher who really encouraged me to grow as a performer, and I was surrounded by peers who had the same appreciation for the craft of performance. I was lucky to participate in many productions and events: Broadway revues, vocal ensemble competitions, individual Thespian events, caroling competitions, and Broadway musicals. These opportunities gave me the chance to sing my heart out and express myself, but I still felt the weird feeling inside that I couldn’t really describe. It wasn’t until my senior year that everything changed for the better.
Junior and senior year were a crossroads and the most stressful parts of high school: the time when college applications and SATs/ACTs dominated life. I wasn’t as focused on the acting or choir and kept getting distracted by minor and unimportant matters. During all of those ordeals, I began feeling miserable. Things took a turn for the worse when my mother got sick and ended up in the hospital. At that point, I hit rock bottom. It felt like the whole world had crumbled and nothing was going my way. While I was attending Mass and singing in the church choir, the hymns never resonated with me.
Oddly enough, during this whole ordeal in my senior year, my school choir and drama programs were putting on a production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I knew that the story was about Joseph the dreamer from the Old Testament, but to my embarrassment, I had forgotten some of the details of the passage. It had been a while since I had last opened my young adult Bible.
It was that moment when I felt that emotion inside me; it was the realization that the Holy Spirit was trying to enlighten me and guide me back to reconnecting with my faith.
The following Sunday, as I sang in the choir at Mass, something changed. I immediately felt the lyrics of hymns resonating with me like I had never felt before. For the first time in a while, by the grace of the Holy Spirit, I began to understand what I was singing at Mass. I learned that through my singing, I was praying twice as much to our Lord.
Now that I look back, relearning the story of Joseph by participating in a high school musical production was God’s way of telling me to reread the Scriptures and to pay more attention to the homilies during Mass. Ever since high school graduation, I have been more involved with my Catholic faith and eager to learn further about it. With my love of musical theater and singing, I used my gifts to celebrate my Catholic faith and do the Lord’s work of bringing others closer to Him.
Because I got involved with musical theater and integrated my Catholic faith into it, I felt enormous confidence building inside me. God granted me the pathways and opportunities to use my gifts and communicate with others – something I could not do as a young girl. My involvement with the campus ministry at FIU, the pro-life movement and my current work with The 72 Youth Group at Our Lady of Lourdes Parish have further shaped my faith and brought me closer to others. My current occupation as a registered behavioral technician has also borne great fruit, as I now work with young children who have also been diagnosed with the autism spectrum.
Who would have thought that a mixture of musical theater and a story from the Bible would be the spark that brought me closer to Christ? If this can happen to me, then you can find that same unexpected spark to bring you closer to faith. You may not recognize it immediately, but once that feeling of the Holy Spirit builds up within you, it will fully unleash when you are ready. Find that passion, like I did with my love of musical theater and singing – and, just maybe, you’ll find yourself on that path closer to Christ.
