The transformational power of forgiveness

Monday, April 7, 2025

*Dolores Hanley McDiarmid

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What would run through your mind if you woke up tomorrow morning, went outside, and found lewd art and text, spray-painted on your garage door? I am pretty sure that the word “forgiveness” would not be one of the first things that come to mind. I know it wasn’t for me and my husband, not at first.

Are you finding it difficult to forgive someone who has hurt you or someone you love? If so, you are not alone. The virtue of forgiveness is not easy to practice, but God calls us to be merciful and to forgive others.

Forgiveness is so important that it is a central theme in the Bible. I have read that the word “forgive” appears in the Bible more than 120 times, and the word “forgiveness” appears 49 times in the New Testament. In addition, there are more than 10 key Bible verses pertaining to forgiveness.

In paragraph 2844 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, we read about the importance of Christians forgiving others, as God has forgiven us. Colossians 3:12-13 states, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do.”

Let me share the rest of our story that confirms the importance of the gift of forgiveness. It was more than 10 years ago when we found this artistic expression on our garage door, and through a little detective work my husband found an empty can of spray paint at a house two blocks from our home.

A day or two after the embarrassing discovery, the father, accompanied by his son, came to our house to apologize. The artist was a teenage boy who happened to be experiencing behavioral challenges. His father shared that his son was going through a difficult time in his life. He had two previous incidents where people pressed charges against him, and the next one would lead to his incarceration. My husband and I had a serious decision to make. Our decision would affect the rest of this boy’s life.

I cannot recall which of the many scriptures ran through my mind, but I knew that God calls us to forgive others, as He forgives us. We decided not to press charges. At the time of the incident, when we forgave him, we did not know the gift that we were giving to this teenage boy. We would not find out until many years later.

Fast forward to the summer of 2023, approximately 10 years after the incident, and we were having work done in our yard. My husband was outside in the heat, became dehydrated and fell to the ground by our garage door. The two young men who were working in our yard came to his rescue and called for me to come out.

While standing in front of our garage door and discussing what my husband should do, one of the young men revealed that it was he who had displayed his artistic talents on our garage door years ago. Now a young man, he thanked us for not pressing charges and for forgiving him. His brother, the other young man, told us that his brother turned his life around after that incident and went into the medical field. The teenager was transformed, as was his life, because we forgave him.

Recently, after reading Real Mercy by French priest, Jacques Philippe, I realized that forgiveness is an act of faith and hope. In his book, he tells us that it is faith that helps us to forgive. We cannot forgive with our own strength, but we can forgive with God’s grace and help. When we forgive, it is also an act of hope. Through our forgiveness, we are indicating that we have hope in the path the person will choose as he/she moves forward. We hope for their conversion and that their heart will be transformed to be more Christ-like.

My husband and I cannot be sure that our neighbor’s son found Christ when we forgave him, but our forgiveness gave him the opportunity to choose a better path and become a more responsible young adult. Both my husband and I have now firsthand experienced the necessity, the importance, and the power of the gift of forgiveness for those forgiving and for the one forgiven.

Forgiveness can be difficult, but Jesus calls us to constantly forgive one another for our weaknesses and faults because He forgives us. Is someone in your life waiting for you to give them the gift of forgiveness? It is not too late. You can give up a grudge for Lent and give someone the gift of forgiveness.