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Cultural differences and keeping children safe


I was born on a mink ranch in central Iowa where the winter wind blows cold across the flat plains, creating the perfect climate for developing the rich fur coveted for mink coats. This was long before PETA and their red-paint-throwing supporters were defenders of the weasel-like creatures.

Not sure how pertinent that information is but I always thought I would begin my NY Times Best seller in just that way. Since that is a highly unlikely event, I thought I’d use it here.

Photographer:

It does speak to my culture and what helped form my principles and traditions, and perhaps explains why I hold some things dear and others in disdain. For example, I find nothing unhealthy or distasteful in a meat and potatoes diet, especially if it is my requested birthday meal of scalloped potatoes and ham. Also, I would always pick apple crisp as my favorite dessert over a birthday cake but wouldn’t scowl if both were offered. I looked forward to visiting Grandma Larson just to devour a Kringla (Norwegian cookie/biscuit) — or two or more if she wasn’t looking.

While that all sounds a little gluttonous, I also developed a strong work ethic. Chores before play. Leaves raked, weeds pulled, and the kitchen cleaned certainly before starting the next meal. Confronting an unpleasant task rather than procrastinating and letting the unpleasantness fester another day. That also means I developed a disdain for those who seemed to embrace a deflect, deflect, deflect attitude. Just typing it makes my jaw clench. I would rather be accountable and wrong than irresponsible.

All this is to say, we are who we are, but we are not all the same. In this tremendous melting pot that is the Archdiocese of Miami, we are privy to a wondrous array of cultures and traditions. The archbishop likes to say the greatest thing about Miami is that it is so close to the United States. Indeed, our tapestry of cultures is colorful, enlightening, entertaining, and rich.

I was reminded of this recently when we started planning a birthday celebration for a couple of colleagues. Every year I was stumped as to how to celebrate because one of the birthday girls does not like sweets. (I know! It’s unbelievable!) Anyway, trying to make the celebration fitting for all, I learned she does like flan. Faith restored. Now this Midwesterner needed to learn how to make flan. It was actually quite fun. I purchased a flan pan and attempted multiple recipes and techniques, with my husband’s assistance. My Hispanic friends and neighbors volunteered to taste test. Brave souls! I learned about the rich (and creamy) tradition, about the birthday girl herself, spent time with my husband and my neighbors and came away with a fun story and a luscious dessert.

Learning about the rich heritage and traditions of those in our communities can be fun. It can also be essential in the protection of children and vulnerable adults. While it is interesting to share different foods, clothing, or even religions, it is imperative we all be of like mind when it comes to protecting the most vulnerable among us. Laws provide the baseline of what is acceptable but sometimes these are not known or are not given the same consideration as traditions and cultures.

For example, some countries have a longstanding, culturally ingrained practice of child servitude. Parents — usually struggling mothers — send their child off to live with a different family, to assist with chores, cooking, and cleaning, in exchange for better educational opportunities and a better way of life that the parents would be unable to provide. Sadly, often this situation is more akin to child slavery and sometimes results in sexual abuse. Obviously, this tradition is not acceptable or legal in the United States. However, it is a cultural circumstance we must be aware of to protect the children in our care and to educate an enclave of people unaware of the legalities, let alone the trauma, this inflicts on the child, the family, and society at large.

The best way to change a culture’s understanding of child abuse is through education. This is just another reason why reading the monthly Virtus bulletins is so important and yes: required!

So embrace what you may think is an unpleasant task. Do not procrastinate or deflect as the knowledge you gain could make a significant difference in a child’s life — even save a life.

The bulletins take 3 to 5 minutes to read each month and are necessary to keeping a Virtus account active. Without an active account and fingerprinting every five years, employees and volunteers, be they priests, religious or laity, are ineligible to serve in our churches and schools.

Just as abuse spans all cultures, races, religions, social economic status, and education levels, so too must learning how to protect the vulnerable from child molestation, human trafficking, and abuse. We are called in baptism to look out for each other no matter what our preferred birthday treat may be. The Virtus bulletins can show us how.

For an inspirational look at why reading the Virtus monthly bulletins will benefit everyone, please see this short video: Gerry with a G: Spotlight or Lighthouse.


Comments from readers

Br. Lombardo D'Auria, O.F.M. Cap. - 04/07/2022 05:24 PM
Our daily routine takes us away from being on guard. Virtus' continual reminder to be up to date reminds me of the Gospel readings where we hear Jesus' words to be like HIM. Thus, each Gospel reading calls us to be like Christ. Each reminder counts to help us and those who will one day need our help. Jan, thank you for encouraging us to be on guard, to be a lighthouse. Happy and blessed Easter! In Christ the King,
Lisa P - 04/07/2022 10:26 AM
Jan, once again you hit that ball out of the park with your humorous acknowledgement of cultural differences and upbringing (how COLD was it when you did those farm chores in Iowa?!?!) while acknowledging that child abuse transcends cultural contexts. The evil of sexual abuse seeks the weak spots of any culture to embed itself, and it's important to call it out as intrinsically evil and never justified -- no matter the context. Thank you, Jan -- we also look forward to that book one day!
Sara Martinez Gonzalez - 04/06/2022 07:04 PM
Jan, Thank you for your dedication to protect our children. Keeping us inform makes us stronger, and better equipt to continue the fight to protect children and vulnerable adults from predators. People like you make the world a better place. God bless you.
Elaine Benjamin - 04/06/2022 10:47 AM
Jan, thank you for sharing your experiences especially in all the cultures. This is an eye-opener for me. The things we take for granted show how we can be selfish and that we have to pay attention to our world. Your awesome article is such an inspiration. I am glad I'm part of this movement of changing a culture of child abuse.
Issa Gaytan - 04/05/2022 03:02 PM
Each blog that I read is a witness of real life. You made my laugh and reflect about my heritage. This time the call is very close to me because as a Latin people we see so many things that are common life in our countries and sometime it leads to a life of abuse just because it is the "way that was done" As you said, we must be aware of the circumstances and help those children who are in danger. This is the time to look out for them and fight for them, keep them safe. Thank you Jan for remind us of those who need us most, we have to be proactive always. I really enjoyed this blog from you. Thank you.
Gloria Gonzalez - 04/05/2022 01:10 PM
Jan, you continue to be a great asset to the Archdiocese of Miami. We have been blessed with your knowledge and faith towards keeping our children safe.
Anie Flor - 04/05/2022 11:50 AM
Hello Jan, Thank you for sharing a great & inspirational article and video. Your tireless efforts in being the lighthouse and bringing awareness in protecting children and vulnerable adults is admirable. You are an extraordinary example to all of us! As always, thank you for all you are and do!
Helen Lopez - 04/05/2022 11:41 AM
Jan, thank you for your dedication to the safety of our children and vulnerable adults. You are an inspiration! Great article.
Blamerka Mendoza - 04/04/2022 08:06 PM
Jan, thank you for your constant and keen efforts to keep our children safe; to keep us informed and educated so that we may be vigilant to help prevent abuse; for sharing a personal story; and for the excellent and informative video.
Mirta Blanco - 04/04/2022 04:23 PM
Hi Jan thank you for sharing this video, it was inspirational to say the least, and thank you for sharing some of your early childhood. Since I've known you, always thought you were "buena gente" and always commented how dedicated you are to your vocation (job) of voicing for the vulnerable and always your quick response to my needs whenever I needed to contact you. God put you in this path and we couldn't have asked for a more reliable and sweetest person. Looking forward to tasting your flan whenever we meet again!! Warm regards and many blessings to you and your family. Mirta
Pat Solenski - 04/04/2022 02:26 PM
Thank you again Jan for your consistent and tireless efforts to keep children safe. You help all of us to know what to do and to be vigilant in signs of abuse.
Grecia Gomez - 04/04/2022 02:00 PM
Jan, thank you. The Virtus training is always so informative. There's always something new to learn. Like I share with all my church volunteers, is the importance to be able to notice when we can help a student or an elderly person who needs the help. The Virtus bulletin gives us that knowledge and awareness.๐Ÿ•Š We can be someone’s lighthouse
Patricia Galvin - 04/04/2022 01:56 PM
Gerry with a G was engaging....Jan's anecdotes were interesting. I am new to VIRTUS in Miami...I guess getting people to read the monthly newsletters is a problem. This was a not unpleasant reminder.
Amy Cumming - 04/04/2022 01:38 PM
Let us all do all we can to help protect the vulnerable. By staying informed and pro-active, we can make a difference and help save others from harm.
Deacon Thomas Hanlon - 04/04/2022 01:29 PM
Great article. I have been reading Virtus since the beginning. However I tried to read it today and cannot get into the system. Reset password sent Emails for help. No luck!!!
Anita Brommer - 04/04/2022 12:33 PM
Love your blog Jan thanks for sharing and the video is very thought provoking. God bless and thank you for all you do โค๏ธ๐Ÿ™ Anita
Sheila - 04/04/2022 12:27 PM
Thanks for this..great article you wrote
Fr Federico Capdepon - 04/04/2022 12:05 PM
Dear Jan. I read your article. First of all congratulations . What a wonderful way to describe and share your experiences . I encourage you to do this more often so you can continue inspiring us . I want to congratulate you for the way you are handling the Virtus program . I read your postings and articles . You have helped us feeling safer in a difficult moment for our church . Again on behave so many thank you . Keep up with this important job you hold in the Archdiocese of Miami . We pray for you and your wonderful family . May God bless you Fr Federico
Eileen D-H - 04/04/2022 11:51 AM
Great article, Jan! I suspect your Iowa roots not only explain your disdain for procrastination, but also your tenacity to defend the vulnerable among us. The video was a terrific piece and an timely reminder of the importance of the Virtus bulletins. I’m not much of a sports fan so I wasn’t familiar with Gerry-the-Ravens-sportscaster, but was certainly familiar with the individual with whom he was unfortunate enough to share a name. Unbelievable what a difference one letter made in his life! His lighthouse vs. spotlight analogy was “spot” on. Thanks again for a great post.
Rafael Maria Calvo Forte - 04/04/2022 11:38 AM
Excelente servicio presta el programa Virtus, porque da herramientas humanas para proteger a los menores.
Lisa Dodge - 04/04/2022 11:18 AM
Thank you Jan for a great article. I love learning about your upbringing. I will meet you anytime for ham and scalloped potatoes. The video was very informative.
Rosa Frometa - 04/04/2022 11:01 AM
Jan, Thank you for your article. I will share with our volunteers. God bless, Rosa E. Frometa
VALLI Leone - 04/04/2022 10:57 AM
Thanks, dear Jan, for an interesting and insightful article. Our Church, the Body of Christ on earth, is both virtuous and courageous, in my opinion, to continue the VIRTUS requirements, trainings and updates. Every child is a blessing and a reward from the Lord. Jesus never fails! ๐Ÿ”†๐Ÿ•Š๐Ÿ”†
Carmen Matos-Raia - 04/04/2022 10:35 AM
Excellent article. Sharing in Facebook now. God Bless,
Paulette - 04/04/2022 10:17 AM
I have been a lover and admirer, always in awe of the grandeur yet humility of the lighthouse for as long as I can remember. Books, memorabilia, photos and decor Enhance my formal living area. I appreciate and respect the three minutes per month I take to learn when reading the Virtus bulletins. As I continue to pass on that sentiment, the Lighthouse as a visual beacon of hope will be included in my narrative. Paulette with a “P”
Natalie Escanaverino - 04/04/2022 09:04 AM
Jan, I never realized the gift of writing that you possess. By the way, if and when our Virtus training sessions resume in person, I wouldn't mind taste testing your flans :) LOVED Gerry with a G's video! Clearly his mom was tending to the light in his lighthouse to make sure it burnt brightest when he needed it most! Moms are AWESOME!!!
Suzy - 04/04/2022 08:43 AM
This video was inspiring! I love that someone outside of the usual groups is addressing this issue and encouraging others to do so.
Dolores Alea - 04/04/2022 08:30 AM
Gerry with a "G" gave some great thoughtful reasons to spend a few minutes each month reading the short Virtus bulletins that have the potential to make a big difference in someone's life. Thank you!
Kathryn - 04/04/2022 08:16 AM
Excellent points made ! Brings its all home and wakes me up again. We can tend to get a bit complacent after time but as Gerry points out , you never know what and when something can hit you. Share your recipe for Flan๐Ÿ‘
Deborah Serrano - 04/04/2022 08:14 AM
Good morning Read your article, I found your story So amazing. The video was a great inspiration That I had to share with the religion education teachers Especially the light house. My mother Collected lighthouse that I inherent I would always say mom why not the Statue of Liberty since she was from New York Now I know the meaning Thank you God Bless
Marcia Gaitan - 04/04/2022 07:09 AM
Well done Jan very good article enjoyed reading and listerning .Thank you.

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