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When my children were in grade school -- wasn’t that just yesterday? -- every Friday they would bring home a communication folder containing any information their school needed to give the parents. One side of the folder would hold information from the principal’s office, such as entries for raffle tickets or gift wrap sales. The other side would hold items from the classroom, such as graded tests, with their gold stars or smiling faces, and sometimes even a field trip permission form. I especially looked forward to the weeks that the folder contained their art projects or school pictures.

Photographer:

Even today, many schools use the same procedure for sending home information. You may find, once or twice a year, nestled in the stack of papers that your child brings home, a notice of the upcoming Teaching Touching Safety lessons. I was reminded of this when a colleague came to me to share that her daughter brought home the notice recently. Her daughter had attached a special significance to this letter because it was about “safety.” She read it with her daughter and explained they would also need to let her father read it. Not wanting to let it go so easily, the daughter replied, “Yes. But Mommy, this is very important!”

I was encouraged to hear that even before the lesson took place, her teacher was able to communicate the significance of these classes.

Teaching Touching Safety lessons are one component of the Virtus programs.  Nearly all of us know of the Virtus “Protecting God’s Children” session for adults. It is a child abuse awareness and prevention program that is required of all clergy and employees, as well as all volunteers with access to children or vulnerable adults. It is a significant part of the Archdiocese of Miami’s “Promise to Protect and Pledge to Heal,” in keeping with the U.S. bishops’ Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People. Training adults is a tremendous commitment and paramount toward addressing the epidemic of child sex abuse. However, to come full circle and strive to change the culture of this crime, we must also train the children. In a classroom setting, where children learn fire safety, traffic safety and even water safety, they also learn personal safety.

Teaching Touching Safety consists of 10 lessons taught in age appropriate lesson plans. Each year, a class is presented at least two lessons. For example, the first year students are taught lessons one and two, and the next year lessons three and four. The program continues in this manner until all lessons have been taught. Then the process starts over with lessons one and two in the upgraded, age-appropriate lesson plan. By the time a student has rotated through all the lessons they have learned to understand safety rules, identify safe adults, and recognize boundaries, including Internet safety.

Children also learn about grooming techniques and the importance of telling someone they trust when there is an issue that makes them uncomfortable. These are just some of the objectives of the lesson plans. In their totality, they represent a true and solid presentation of facts on a topic that is riddled with misconception, as is any subject that has traditionally been taboo. This is vital, as predators thrive on the misconceptions or gray areas. The program is most effective when the lessons learned at school work in tandem with parents at home.

A collaborative and cohesive message at home strengthens the program and the safety net around our children. Parents can pick up an "Overview and Founding Principles of the TTS Program" and even a "Guidebook for Parents and Guardians and Other Caring Adults" from their parish or school’s Local Coordinator. Additionally, those adults with active Virtus accounts receive monthly bulletins that offer timely and topical information, which can spark ongoing communication with children.

A key contributor to the bulletins and all the Virtus materials is Dr. David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center. He writes, “There is broad agreement that the burden of preventing victimization should not lie exclusively in the hands of children. However, if there are potentially effective things that children can do, it would also be morally reprehensible not to equip them with such skills.”

She may not be an expert yet, but even my colleague’s daughter knows: “This is very important!”

Comments from readers

Bob Siccone - 04/30/2014 12:48 PM
Jan, thanks for your thoughts. It is so important for all to realize that our children benefit the most when home,school and parish partner to insure the safety of our young ones. It is comforting for me to know that our Archdiocese places the safety of our children first.
Pat Solenski - 04/30/2014 09:39 AM
Jan, thank you for your efforts in keeping our children safe and our adults aware of unsafe activity that often goes unnoticed. You have a tremendous task yet you are certainly up to it! Again, thank you.
Camille Laurino and RosalieCostantino - 04/28/2014 05:29 PM
This program has been very valuable for students who are often on their own and need to know how to handle some situations which are potentially dangerous. Our students have responded so well to the lessons we have presented. Parent have given us accolades for the way we have related this material to their children. We will continue to work diligently for the benefit of all our students.
Elizabeth M. Louie, MD - 04/28/2014 02:06 PM
Jan, thank you for all you do to protect ALL God's Children. These programs are so important to help parents, teachers, coaches and all those caring for children to recognize the warning signs and create safe environments for all our children and elderly. God bless you and your staff.
Sister Lidia Lidia Valli - 04/28/2014 11:42 AM
Thank you Jan for all you do for this program. At the Marian Center we use the lessons and make them simpler in order to reach all our students at their level of comprehension. Everyone has to be safe and the suggestions and lessons are very helpful. We are very grateful for your work and kudos to your dedication.
Lisa Pinto - 04/28/2014 09:45 AM
Jan, thank you for your Office's great support to parents in the education and protection of their children. I have seen, in your classes, when you de-bunk some of the myths and misconceptions surrounding child sexual abuse, and the jaw-dropped expressions of participants. I strongly encourage parents to take your suggestion to heart and contact their parish/school Local Coordinator for the guidebook you mentioned above. Keep up the great work!

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