Es tiempo para un curso de actualizaci�n sobre el matrimonio

Monday, September 27, 2010

*Cheryl Whapham

English Spanish

Siempre me ha interesado conocer el tema de la catequesis para el año escolar que comienza. Con frecuencia intento compartirlo con grupos de discusión, en reflexiones y en actividades sobre el tema. Hace un par de meses, me enteré de que el tema para este año era “Matrimonio: Sacramento de Amor Duradero”. Me sorprendió, porque mi reacción inicial fue que el tema no estaba relacionado con los niños. Cómico, ¿no? Los niños son parte de un matrimonio, y nuestra juventud católica necesita saber lo que la Iglesia enseña sobre el sacramento del matrimonio. Pero, ¿el matrimonio como el tema catequético para el año?

Cinco segundos después, me sorprendió como un defensa de fútbol que te ataca por la espalda: ¿Sería que el tema de la catequesis para el año fue seleccionado tomando en cuenta la catequesis para adultos? Seamos honestos: cuando la mayoría de nosotros piensa en la catequesis, ¿qué nos viene a la mente? Pensamos en niños y jóvenes; niños de escuela elemental que asisten a nuestras escuelas católicas o a los programas de educación religiosa en nuestras parroquias, o imaginamos a los adolescentes en nuestras escuelas católicas o en nuestros grupos juveniles parroquiales.

¿Podemos imaginarnos a nosotros mismos, a nuestros cónyuges, y a nuestras parejas amigas asistiendo a talleres, retiros o tomando cursos en línea sobre el sacramento del matrimonio? No mucho. Pero, ¿qué tal si lo hiciéramos? ¿Qué tal si dedicáramos algún tiempo en los próximos 12 meses a leer el documento de los obispos y las cartas apostólicas, como lo recomendó el obispo Estévez en su blog la semana pasada? Los adultos pueden organizar pequeños grupos de estudio en sus parroquias para leer algunos de estos documentos y ver algunos de los excelentes recursos que se encuentran en el sitio web de Por Tu Matrimonio, como lo indicó el obispo Estévez.

Lo otro que me sorprendió fue el título. “Matrimonio: Sacramento de Amor Duradero”. Literalmente, me reí a las carcajadas. Pensé: ¿Tenían que escoger la palabra “enduring”? Pero yo pensaba en la definición de la palabra “endure”, en inglés, que significa soportar, atravesar una dificultad o permanecer firme ante el sufrimiento o la desgracia, y la Iglesia Católica no desea presentar al matrimonio con esa imagen. Pero “enduring”, la palabra que los obispos escogieron, significa “que perdura”. Es una palabra excelente.

Sin embargo, en mi humilde experiencia, ambas definiciones se pueden aplicar a la experiencia vivida del sacramento. Me parece que en la jornada de un matrimonio duradero, también hay ocasiones en que atravesamos dificultades, y debemos permanecer firmes ante el sufrimiento o la desgracia. No debemos olvidar que el matrimonio es un sacramento, un don de la gracia de Dios que se otorga a cada pareja, que existe de manera extraordinaria en cada unión. Nos puede ayudar a todos pasar un tiempo reflexionando sobre ese regalo, develándolo, redescubriéndolo, sacudiendo el polvo y puliéndolo un poco, sólo para ver si hemos perdido algo del brillo que tenía el día en que entramos al matrimonio.

Comments from readers

Marta Vargas - 10/03/2010 10:28 PM: Amen, Amen, Amen! Thank you Cheryl for such a wonderful blog and seeing lots of wonderful comments as well! I first heard about the Catechetical Sunday theme while at Pat Solenski's office and it was so exciting to hear that our Bishops would pick this as the theme for so many reasons which you shared so well. May we each do our part to uphold and support marriages and families, beginning with our own formation that we may in it shine Christ to all around us, from the child to the adult, for the blessings of all.

And yes, Cheryl, catechesis is truly for a "whole family" endeavor, and teen catechesis is so incredibly important too especially because of all the growth, development and transitions they are going through which are leading to big life decisions as they leave High School and enter college (consequently another important time for catechesis) such as dating leading to marriage, plus school and work leading to career . In fact, one could say that good, solid teen (and pre-teen) catechesis could be considered "Pro-Active Marriage Preparation" (or any Vocation Preparation for that matter) that will build up these young minds as well as empower them to make healthy life and dating choices early on that in turn would help them build the most solid foundations possible for their life, vocations, and relationships!

As many did mention, the teachings of Pope John Paul II's on the Theology of the Body are one of the many ways we can do this "pro-active marriage preparation". A couple of parishes have adopted the Ascension Press program "Theology of the Body for Teens" with phenomenal fruits and at the present time various ministries are coming together to host a TOB For Teens training with Ascension Press for adults working with teens wishing to offer the program this spring. Any ministries or Youth ministry teams with interest in collaborating or learning more please contact our office.

Ascension Press is also expecting to release a Theology of the Body for Pre-Teens in the Spring of 2011.

Worthy of note, this year, we added a Sacramentality track to enrich our marriage preparation with Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body using the Ascension Press program "God's Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage" by Christopher West .

We welcome any couples who might be interested in building stronger marriages our TOB marriage preparation the team (there are many ways to serve!), or parishes interested in becoming a "God's Plan" site for 2o11 .

Also, those interested in joining in our next team group study exploring marriage and Theology related topics (halfway through our current study, next one will probably begin early 2011), contact us too!

Our number is 305.762.1140 and email us at [email protected]

Thank you so much again Cheryl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GREAT work!

Cheryl - 10/01/2010 03:01 PM: Thank you to everyone for your thoughtful responses this week. As Director of ADULT Faith Formation, I wanted to highlight this year's Catechetical theme as a wonderful opportunity for adult catechesis. But I was hoping that someone would post that the topic also provides opportunities for adolescent catechesis, because it certainly does. Thank you for those contributions. As Br. Richard pointed out, we can't say it all in 500 words or less!

I also want to thank so many of you who have spoken to me personally this week or in personal emails about what is reflected in the few comments here. That we see the Sacrament of Marriage as something beautiful that God created and that the Holy Spirit guides us in and that we are so grateful for the opportunity to participate in something so holy and so sacred. And yet we are human, and our spouses have bad breath in the morning, and there are days when the commitment is harder than others. Which is why I think a year of taking some time to learn more about the Sacrament, enrich our marriages a bit, could be just the thing we all need right now whether you have chronic halitosis or not :)

Barbara Groeber - 09/29/2010 10:38 AM: Cheryl, Associating the word �enduring� with marital love reminds me of what Christopher West calls the 4 rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the two wedding rings, and suffering. I think one of the amazing gifts you receive when you are in a loving, God-filled marriage, is that you do not realize the suffering being endured because of the joy you receive in giving of yourself to your spouse and to the supreme blessings of that union, your children. I remember being stunned when I heard through Theology of the Body that love cannot be expressed without some element of suffering.

The opening talk I will be doing at the Respect Life Conference, October 29 and 30, will focus on the One Flesh Union and this amazing call every human being has to love as God loves. There is no Church teaching we would have a problem with if we first understood these foundational truths of our creation.

Jan Rush - 09/28/2010 07:06 PM: How wonderful that marriage is the theme this year, especially with the persistent attempts of society to radically redefine what marriage is. This seems like the perfect opportunity to introduce the beautiful teachings of Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body. I would venture to say that the vast majority of adult Catholics, married or not, are totally unfamiliar with these beautiful teachings explaining the transcendent nature of human sexuality. Christopher West has several excellent books that make the concepts easier to grasp.

Kathy Kwok - 09/28/2010 10:20 AM: Cheryl: After reading your blog, the word "commitment" came to mind when reflecting on the word "enduring". I remember this definition made by Fr. Ted (a Salesian priest in California) in his homily some 15 years ago.

Commitment: The willingness to be unhappy for a little while.

This has been sticking to my head henceforth. As long as I am committed, I am sure God will help me to endure.

Maria Jose Mitsoulis - 09/28/2010 09:50 AM: We learn at home about the meaning of marriage. We hear about it in society and in the media. I want my daughter to learn about the meaning of marriage at home. My husband and I are her teachers. The influence of her friends, society and the media are challenging outside forces that she will face or that she is already facing to make right decisions. My husband and I hope to here for a long time to keep being witness for her and guiding her in the right path. Parents has a strong influence in children. Let's pray for parents and families.

Pat Solenski - 09/28/2010 08:43 AM: Cheryl, I too was initially surprised at the theme for Catechetical Sunday. I too was shortly struck by how on target the theme really is. Vatican II proclaimed that the parents were the primary educators of their children. Vactican II proclaimed also that the family/home is the domestic church. This year's theme provides another lense by which those of us in the catechetical ministry can view and explore more opportunities for parents and families. Vatican II keeps moving us along and helping us see the harmony and wisdom in the Church.

Richard DeMaria - 09/27/2010 08:03 PM: Cheryl: So much covered in ust 483 words. I found your presentation of the double entendre of endure very interesting and worth additinal reflection: nothing worthwhile will endure unless we are prepared to endure the inevitable struggles and difficulties that are part of it. I liked the way that your blog builds on that of Bishop Estevez.. Way to go, Cheryl.

Antonio Fernandez - 09/27/2010 05:02 PM: First of all, I want to thank Bishop Estevez for his blog last week about the Sacrament of Matrimony; unfortunately, I was not able to contribute to his blog, but Cheryl's comments allow me to say something about this Sacrament this week.

I think the theme for this year catechetical theme follows the teaching of the Pope John Paul II, who in his apostolic exhortation Familiaris Consortio, told us that "the Church must… promote better and more intensive programs of marriage preparation in order to eliminate as far as possible the difficulties that many married couples find themselves in, and even more in order to favor positively the establishing and maturing of successful marriages".

Regarding the concerns that some may have regarding the appropriateness of marriage being the theme for this year catechetical program, let me add what the Pope said about this: "Marriage preparation has to be seen and put into practice as a gradual and continuous process. It includes three main stages: remote, proximate and immediate preparation. Remote preparation begins in early childhood, in that wise family training which leads children to discover themselves as being endowed with a rich and complex psychology and with a particular personality with its own strengths and weaknesses. It is the period when esteem for all authentic human values is instilled, both in interpersonal and in social relationships, with all that this signifies for the formation of character, for the control and right use of one's inclinations, for the manner of regarding and meeting people of the opposite sex, and so on. Also necessary, especially for Christians, is solid spiritual and catechetical formation that will show that marriage is a true vocation and mission, without excluding the possibility of the total gift of self to God in the vocation to the priestly or religious life… renewed catechesis of young people and others preparing for Christian marriage is absolutely necessary in order that the sacrament may be celebrated and lived with the right moral and spiritual dispositions." (FC 66).

I congratulate and thank the bishops who selected this theme for the upcoming school year. I pray that it is accepted by all teachers and education directors and its development and application is taken as a priority by all… even encouraging parents and everyone to find in the words of Familiaris Consortio an unsurpassed guide for this purpose.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church, presents the sacraments of Holy Orders and Matrimony as the Sacraments at the Service of Communion. These two sacraments really support and complement each other. The more we know one of them we would appreciate the other more, to follow the call of any one of them has to be enriched and supported by the admiration for the other.