By Emily Chaffins -

FORT LAUDERDALE | At first glance, Linda Freire’s and Ashley Banegas’ lives don’t seem to overlap.

They are both Catholic, Hispanic women from South Florida, but they have different interests: Banegas is a kindergarten teacher, and Freire has a doctorate degree in physical therapy.

However, despite their differences, both women joined a common cause: opposing Amendment 4.

Amendment 4 – a proposed amendment to the Florida state constitution that will be on the ballot this November – “would enshrine unregulated abortion in our state constitution, making Florida one of the most pro-abortion states in the nation,” according to the Florida Conference of Catholic Bishops (FLCCB).

Freire and Banegas decided to share their stories for the Archdiocese of Miami’s “Vote no on Amendment 4” campaign for the same reason: their experience with unplanned pregnancies.

Because both women have learned first-hand that the choices we make can change lives.

 

FROM CHEMICAL ABORTION TO PRO-LIFE ADVOCACY

When Linda Freire found out she was pregnant in 2015, she was a college student and mixing with the wrong crowd who “had influences that really made me go one route… I really confided and trusted in them.”

Overcome with fear, Freire turned to a friend for advice and was encouraged to have an abortion. Seven weeks into her pregnancy, Freire underwent a chemical abortion.

Having been assured she could drive from the abortion facility to class, Freire was on the road when she began to feel “the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life.”

“I couldn’t control my own bowel movements, and I was vomiting all over the place. It was horrible. I had to stop my car, put my seat back, and really ask for help – ask God for help and forgiveness in that time.”

She called the abortion facility. They had her return and gave her medication.

Wracked with pain in body and soul, Freire returned home, “basically crawling to the door.”

“I told Mom, ‘I am a sinner and I’m so sorry for what I just did,’” Freire said. “My mom just embraced me with such love and compassion. I would probably say that’s the moment of healing for me, that she received me with such love and mercy that I didn’t expect.”

However, Freire sunk into a deep depression, experiencing “violent” nightmares and living closed off “in a bubble of darkness.”

“Abortion can cause deep psychological scars in women,” explained Dr. Grazie Pozo Christie, a Florida radiologist and senior fellow for The Catholic Association, speaking of the trauma that women can experience from taking the chemical abortion pill.

“I didn’t want to move, I didn’t want to do anything, I didn’t want to look at anyone, I didn’t want to see anybody,” Freire said. “I didn’t want to basically live.”

Her mother finally convinced her to seek help in the Church, opening up the opportunity for another healing moment – this time in the confessional at Gesù Parish in Miami.

“I asked the priest… ‘Father, how is it that Jesus forgives me for what I did, for this sin of abortion?’” Freire recalled. “(He) grabbed the crucifix and he says, ‘he did this for you.’”

For Freire, this realization was life-changing, setting her on a “journey of healing” through Rachel’s Vineyard post-abortion recovery. Freire also began speaking about her experience, participating in Sidewalk Advocates for Life and volunteering at pregnancy help centers to bring hope to other women and herself, as she and her husband discovered around Christmastime they were expecting a baby girl.

“I hope that she knows how loved she is by God. I hope that she knows… even from the womb, from the moment of conception, she has a mission and a story.”

 

YOU’RE NOT ALONE

Ashley Banegas and her boyfriend William Alvarez met in a Catholic youth group. They were both invested in the church, even going to the March for Life in Washington, D.C. Meanwhile, Banegas was in university and teaching kindergarten when she found out she was pregnant.

“I was really caught off guard, and I was scared of what would happen next,” Banegas said.

Banegas faced financial concerns and fears of what her family and friends would say. She was worried about what impact her pregnancy would have as she pursues a doctorate degree in organizational leadership with a focus on education. She also faced insecurities about being an “adequate, successful mother.”

“And yes, I put my trust in God, but at the same time there’s just this human nature of being unsure and scared,” said Banegas.

Banegas broke the news to her boyfriend in front of St. Benedict Church, in Hialeah. They “didn’t know what to do.” A family member encouraged her to have an abortion.

“But I just knew that abortion was not the answer,” Banegas said.

She decided to talk to Sister Maria Jose Socias of the Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary.

“I needed help, words of wisdom, and courage from someone from within the Catholic community,” Banegas said. “I believe [Sister Socias] is one of those angels God sent to tell me everything would be ok.”

Sister Socias referred Banegas to a pregnancy help center in Kendall.

“There’s this stigma of ‘I’m pregnant, now my life is ruined,’” she said. “Once I got to that pregnancy center, they helped me to calm down, that there’s help at every moment of pregnancy and even after pregnancy itself.”

At Archdiocese of Miami Respect Life pregnancy help centers, clients receive pregnancy and postpartum counseling, pregnancy testing, limited ultrasound exams, information and referrals, Project Rachel post-abortion healing, classes for mothers and fathers, and material assistance - all free of charge. Plus, even after the baby is born, parents can continue to get help from the pregnancy help center for two years and can be referred to other organizations to continue receiving assistance.

Despite Banegas’ fears, telling everyone about her baby went “much better than expected.” Although some people distanced themselves, many others showered her with support.

“I believe I had a beautiful pregnancy; I didn’t know I had so much love around me!” she said.

Banegas also discovered a powerful connection to the Blessed Mother during her Advent pregnancy.

“The beautiful connection with finding out I was pregnant with my daughter… was that I found out during Holy Week,” she said. “And then here she was, months later, born in December.”

Laughing, Banegas recalled hearing “Mi Burrito Sabanero” while on route to the hospital.

Her fiancé was by her side throughout their daughter’s birth, showing her “the patience and just the presence that I needed.”

He also supported Ashley through her pregnancy’s day-to-day difficulties and took classes with the Project Joseph Group for fathers through the pregnancy help center. By going through the classes, he earned points towards a free stroller. He was also able to connect with other fathers.

“He really loved (those classes),” Ashley said. “Women have a lot of sources to receive resources and help, and people we can talk to, and for men that’s not the case. Typically, they go through this on their own. Project Joseph classes definitely helped him talk to other men and also receive advice and support.”

Banegas loves being a parent and belongs to a group of other parents who walk this journey together. Although fatherhood has challenged Alvarez, he is close to their daughter and “takes care of her with a fatherly love.” Banegas and Alvarez hope to be married next summer. Their daughter continues to receive government assistance.

“What I would tell girls going through something similar to my experience is not to be afraid. There’s definitely help within and outside of the community. They’re not alone,” Banegas said.

She continues her doctorate studies, although it has been challenging. Banegas looks forward to the future as her daughter continues to grow.

LEARN MORE ABOUT  AMENDMENT 4

Some archdiocesan parishes are holding information sessions and events to educate families about the scope of Amendment 4. For more information on these events and the latest updates click here.

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