Meaningful relationships with single adults who love the Lord

By Priscilla A. Greear - Florida Catholic

DAVIE | When Olga Torres launched the St. Bonaventure Catholic Singles Ministry in January 2024, she envisioned the inaugural event with just about 10 supportive girlfriends. To her surprise, some 60 Catholic singles attended the launch of this new ministry for this often-overlooked segment of the church.

Torres and other parish leaders had been praying about starting a ministry during the past year. She had previously started a Broward young adult ministry during the pandemic, but then, its members started getting married and having children. In December, St. Bonaventure's enthusiastic pastor, Father Edmond Prendergast, asked her, “Are you going to do this?”

“I'm just impressed with the Lord and what he’s chosen to do with it. He's doing something,” Torres, 31, said. “It's been very challenging to meet people our age who are single. I'd like to meet single young adults who love the Lord and put him first. We're working professionals and looking for meaningful relationships. There are a lot of ministries for marriage and families but there is a gap. And I'm getting great feedback like, ‘I've been wanting to meet brothers and sisters who put the Lord first.’”

The monthly Saturday event for singles ages 25-55 takes place at St. Bonaventure Church in Davie, beginning with Mass at 5:30 p.m., followed by dinner, spiritual reflection and a fun social activity. All are welcome to the ministry, drawing singles from Kendall to Palm Beach.

“It's very Christ-centered, it's not just getting together. The focus is on fellowship and formation in this season of singleness. We are preparing ourselves to be the people we are called to be so we can be ready for our vocation when it comes,” said Torres.

The April program featured “speed dating,” where individuals rotate around the room asking participants questions about themselves.

“It was a new way of meeting and interacting with people you might not otherwise connect with,” she explained. “There were regular questions to get to know someone and recognize their dignity: What is your goal in life? What is your best Christmas memory?”

A self-proclaimed “straight shooter,” Torres said she also asked men, "what is your relationship with Jesus?"

Staggering stats

Ministries to increase church engagement and fellowship are indeed needed when Gallup reports that from 2021-2023, only 33 % of Catholics reported attending church weekly, down from 45 percent in 2000-2003, not to mention that the U.S. surgeon general declared loneliness a national public health epidemic.

At the ministry's meeting on May 18, Nicholas D'Agostino, 29, led a multimedia trivia night together with Lizzy Arocha, 31, challenging teams to mine their CCD knowledge banks. D'Agostino drew on his knowledge from young adult ministry at St. John XXIII Church in Miramar, and opened with a reflection on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. He also discussed the cardinal virtues of prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance as well as the theological virtues of faith, hope and charity, noting that “the gifts of the Spirit are for the building of God's kingdom and our sanctification and perfection of the virtues.”  After the reflection, they launched into the trivia and fired away questions like, “When did Second Vatican Council end? (1965)” and “Where was St. Bonaventure bishop? (Italy!)”

“This is harder than RCIA!” lamented competitor Alejandro Capote.

Participant Patricia Ramirez was happy to connect with other singles at the interactive event as she discerns her life path.

“You can strengthen your faith and recognize you're not alone,” she said. "Whether going to seminary or religious life, starting a family or going to missions, when you put people together, anything is possible. Everybody has a different background and experience,” added Ramirez, a banker who attends daily Mass. “It's hard, everybody is busy with no time to have human relationships like this. They make this space. It's not to make money or get business, it's to meet other people on the same path you're on.”

Arocha said that her parish, St. Boniface, previously had a singles ministry but it moved to St. Michael Parish in Miami for a Spanish language ministry.

“I want to meet someone to eventually get married. I want to do it in an environment where I know I'm going to meet people in a good environment with similar values,” she said.

Lissette Myrthil said she set a goal two years ago to engage more socially despite shyness.

“I've been able to make a lot of friends over the last couple years, really good, solid friendships and maybe I'll take a chance and do the same thing when it comes to dating. I'm nervous and excited,” said Myrthil, who attends St. Philip Neri in Miami Gardens and St. Benedict in Hialeah.

At a Broward young adult picnic, she met Torres, who invited her to the new ministry.

“I'm going to come and be more open and hang out and not be at home all the time, just go and venture out. That's the only way I'm going to grow as a person," Myrthil said.

Going the distance

A member of St. Augustine Parish in Coral Gables, Luis Maderal, 38, made the trek to attend the meeting.

“Our faith doesn't make sense without community,” he said. “You're in a stage of life where you're not married but not young at the same time, so it's a good place to get to know people. It's hard to get to know people in Miami because of the layout of the city, it's very big. I think a lot of Catholics just want to be with other Catholics.”

Another Miami participant, Alexandra Figueredo, was even inspired to launch a Catholic singles ministry at Church of the Little Flower in Coral Gables, with the first meeting held May 31. She attends Christian singles activities but sees a need for more Catholic singles outreach.

“It's trying to fill a need for people who are single and may or may not want to get married, and for those who do want to be sacramentally married or are even discerning who they should be in a relationship with and who they should be,” she said. “I think it's really important, not just the fellowship and formation aspect, but service too. I have time to spend on a Saturday serving at Missionaries of Charity soup kitchen. I think it's so valuable to use time wisely in the season of singleness.”

Torres, who had a “reversion experience” through a crisis in her twenties, is excited to help grow the ministry. She said her faith “has been growing stronger and stronger, building that relationship daily. You've got to exercise that muscle.”

The meeting on June 15, 2024 featured a bowling night; their upcoming meeting on July 21, 2024 will be attending the 10:30 a.m. Mass together, followed by potluck brunch at noon in the parish center.

“Every month, it never ceases to surprise me, where I was like, ‘Lord I don't know what you're doing but keep doing what you're doing. I'm the instrument. You do what you want because you are the Divine Orchestrator,’” said Torres. “One couple met in January at the first meeting and are engaged. I told Father Ed we're already seeing the fruit!”

Father Prendergast checked in on trivia night and mingled with attendees.

“We love to have them and they belong to the church and it needs this group more than ever. It's going amazing,” he said, commending Torres' leadership. “She's got this enthusiasm and she really wants to have a spiritual dimension to it.”

• For information on the St. Bonaventure Catholic Singles Ministry, call the church at 954-424-9504.